Mom’s Christmas wish list
I sat on Santa’s lap the other day and I have to say, it was quite enjoyable for both of us.”Would you like a Polaroid?” a scantily-clad elf asked as I approached the big guy. There was a sea of small children looking at me with anxious faces and parents tapping feet and checking watches.”No thanks; I have a long list of requests. We better get started.” “Now, young lady, what would you like for Christmas?” Santa got right to the point.”Um, you might want to get a pad and pencil,” I prompted. “Don’t want you to forget any of this stuff.””Ho ho ho,” he chortled.I waited. Clearly he didn’t understand how long my wish list was.”Here,” I said digging out some scrap paper and a pencil from the depths of my purse. Santa wrote in big, curly penmanship at the top of the page: “Mom’s Wish List,” and we were off.”OK, first thing’s first: I need – not want, Santa, but need – a good night’s sleep. See these bags under my eyes? Uh-uh – they aren’t working for me anymore. Anything you could do in this department would be great. A little peace and quiet, maybe a night nurse that can juggle sick kids and nightmares, something that comes in a little pill form. I’m flexible.”Second, the bags themselves. And don’t just try to throw some concealer in my stocking because they don’t make a shade that can cover these babies. Be creative; you’ll think of something.”Third, a lifetime membership to the nearest car wash with a Brad Pitt-looking attendant to vacuum under the seats for me. Preferably someone who’s not squeamish at the sight of soggy goldfish and moldy bagels tucked into the crevices of the interior.”I’d also like a supply of arts and crafts materials to rival Martha Stewart. This way when my kids come home from school and announce that they need to build an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower and it needs to be constructed solely from toothpicks, Styrofoam and little packages of Chiclets, I’m prepared.”I stopped to take a breath and noticed Santa massaging his right hand.”Writer’s cramp,” he said apologetically.”There are just a few more things, Santa, and these are really important.” I waited for him to resume writing.”I could use a lifetime of patience. I don’t how you’ll swing this, but, well, you’re you, so I figure it can’t hurt to ask.”I also need a little more time. Not for me to jam more activities into, but for me to simply enjoy my family. It all seems to be happening way too fast.”Finally, if you could just somehow ensure that we all stay as happy and healthy as we are right now, I’d sure appreciate it.”I took a deep breath and smiled at Santa.”Young lady, I’m not sure I can promise any of these things,” he said with a pat on the shoulder.I heaved a big sigh, leaned in close to his ear and said, “Well, then could you at least bring me a cute little push-up bra?” Charla Belinski writes a column for the Post Independent every other week and teaches the parenting course “Redirecting Children’s Behavior.” Contact her at Belinskis@comcast.net. Happy Holidays! Charla Belinski writes a column for the Post Independent every other week and teaches the parenting course “Redirecting Children’s Behavior.” Contact her at Belinskis@comcast.net. Happy Holidays!
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