My definition of love |

My definition of love

“Valentine’s Day is coming up Tuesday,” I say to my husband.”Tuesday? Isn’t it usually on a Thursday?” he asks.”That’s Thanksgiving.””Oh. So Tuesday’s – what?” he asks, going back to his reading.”It’s the 14th. Valentine’s Day is always the 14th.””Of February?”If I had to live on one romantic night a year, suffice it to say I might die waiting.Some men are at their best on birthdays and anniversaries. Others, not so much. Thank goodness they show us their charms in other ways. If you’re one of the women who’s husbands wouldn’t know a lace doily from a wing-nut, then I offer the following.Love is filling up my car with a tank of gas and washing the windshield while you’re at it.Love is never asking me to paint.Love is not saying ‘I told you so’ when I buy so many spring flowers I can’t possibly plant them all and they die in the hot sun, waiting.Love is knowing how I take my coffee and setting out two mugs in the morning.Love is shoveling snow at dawn, mowing the lawn on a hot summer day and washing the second story windows because I’m afraid to step on the ladder.Love is watching the marching band at halftime.Love is ordering takeout after a long day and not asking, “what happened here today?”Love is never saying the house is a mess. Even when it is.Love is waking me at three in the morning to look at the elk outside our window because you wanted to share it with me.Love is getting home from a weeklong business trip and then calling the next day from work to see if I want to have lunch.Love is a goodbye kiss and a hello hug and an afternoon check-in call.Love is letting me cry without trying to fix it.Love is warming up my side of the bed.Love is asking the waiter for another basket of bread when I’ve already had four pieces.Love is popcorn and a Coke at a chick flick.Love is saying, “Take an extra day for you” when I’m planning a weekend away for a conference.Love is basking in 15 quiet minutes by the fire while the kids watch TV downstairs.Valentine’s Day may be all hearts and romance one day a year. But love adds up to a lot of little things between two people who know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and are still inclined to love anyway.And if you happen to get chocolates on Columbus Day or roses on Flag Day, count yourself twice blessed. Charla Belinski’s husband, Tim, proposed on Valentine’s Day 17 years ago over beer and pizza. A dozen red roses followed, and they’re living happily ever after in Snowmass Village with their three kids. Charla teaches the positive parenting course Redirecting Children’s Behavior and her columns appear in the Post Independent every other Sunday.

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