If you’re one of those people who bake your pumpkin pies from scratch, right now, you’re staring at about a gallon of slimy, discarded pumpkin seeds. Besides the ever-popular roasted pumpkin seeds (always a delicate endeavor since the line between lightly browned and evenly burnt is a thin one), you probably think that pumpkin seeds hold very little value.

Oh, but you would be wrong, my pumpkin-loving friend. If you are suffering from intestinal worms (always a genteel subject to bring up around the holiday dinner table) or prostate problems, those slimy seeds could turn out to become your best ally.

Tackling the worm issue first, the active part of the seed that helps extract these little creatures is the bitter and resinous envelope that lies just under the shell. Just how to get rid of those intestinal worms is more debated than how to get rid of our national debt.

Some say you have to only eat the fresh seeds. Some say raw seeds are just fine. Some say get rid of the shell ” others say leave the shell. Some say fast before you do it, others say eat only certain foods.

After reading a million ways to force a tapeworm out of your colon, I realized there were entirely too many people spending too much time figuring how to extricate a worm from the human body.

I decided to stop reading and find out how real people got rid of their real worms. Here’s what I found out: First of all, starving a tapeworm through a fast is not a great idea since you’ll die before they do.

However, there are specific foods that tapeworms apparently don’t like and, by eating them prior to taking pumpkin seeds, the worms will, as one person put it, “loosen their grip.” Those magic foods are onions, pickles, garlic and salted fish. Garlic especially is important since it helps fight infection and acts as an anti-parasitic. So, eating a balanced amount of these foods one to two days before consuming the pumpkin seeds could help matters.

On the first day of your pumpkin seed worm purge, drink one strong cup of a good laxative herb tea such as cascara sagrada. Next, grind one cup of dried pumpkin seeds (non-salted and non-roasted, by the way) into a fine powder. Blend half the resulting powder into either applesauce, apple juice or carrot juice.

Enjoy this mixture as if it were manna from heaven and know that those little worms are not enjoying it one bit. Several hours later, repeat the procedure with the remaining pumpkin seed powder. Drinking another strong cup of cascara sagrada tea in the evening before going to bed may help expel the worms more quickly.

This process is done for as long as necessary. For some people who have relatively good diets and are healthy, you can get results within three to six days. For others who are not in good physical shape, it may take as long as two or three weeks.

During this time, keep to a bland food diet. Do not drink coffee, since the caffeine “wakes up” the tapeworm, and keep away from starchy foods, opting more for moderate amounts of fruit instead.

Continue to eat three to four cloves of fresh garlic each day of the worm purge. Also, incorporating one clove of fresh garlic into the diet each day will build your immune system back up as well as help prevent a reoccurrence of the problem.

This exact process has been used on adults and children. The only thing I would change for children under the age of 12 is the amount of cascara sagrada tea that is given. For children 5-8, give only two to four ounces. For those 9-12, give no more than six ounces.

Now to the other important use for pumpkin seed: the prostate. A tea made out of the fresh or dried seed is a gentle, non-irritating diuretic that helps take pressure off the prostate.

The usual herb to water ratio is one ounce of the dried seeds by weight to one pint of boiling distilled water. Pour the boiling water over the seeds, cover and let them steep for 20 minutes. Drink four ounces every two hours.

Eating a handful of dried pumpkin seeds each day will also help. High in phosphorous, iron, vitamin B, calcium and protein, pumpkin seeds also contain nearly four times more beta carotene than carrots.

In addition, the seeds are high in zinc and a male hormone-like component which help to aid the prostate and bring it back into balance. Incorporating extra vitamin E and zinc into the daily regimen is also recommended.

Tapeworms and the prostate may not be the most attractive things to read about, but as always, when you’re suffering from one or the other, it’s nice to know there is something natural and non-toxic that can help.

And as far as I’m concerned, it beats the “holiday fun” of scorching the seeds in your oven.

This column is not meant to take the place of your physician, nor is it intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe. Pregnant or nursing women should consult their doctor before using herbal therapy.

Contact Laurel Dewey, the Humorous Herbalist, at writer8@sopris.net.